The joy of being responsible
For a set of enlightened faces
Brought me to the next altar today
Of owning a similar identity
It worked...i screened
A handful of brains with a smile
I read a new sprout of conviction
If not to stay than to acknowledge
Presence...paradigm ...of invitation
A pair of open arms; lavender smiles
Which a mimosa may open to
Puffs up my grins barging right up to ‘em
To eye another blink of strained perception
And when I ear an applauding verse
Tsunami out from the banks of glee
I dodge my ego and take pride
Of them who trusted me, though for a while
I lean to make a step on the ladder
This one was a strong one today,
I must say
But I need to go back for more
As the next foot coups
Its own brim to a lift
It makes me smile and sparkle of shine!
The three stepping stones in my process of learning have revolved around the art of listening. To begin with, Visthar gave me an ensemble of serenity tinted with the raw beauty of nature and I learnt to listen to the urge of being one with it. Being within the context of what we now proudly call “Gender Shadow” for two full days made me receptive to the voices behind every conflict, argument, discussion or opinion made by each one of us. I realised that everything that is said or done stems from something that is unsaid or felt. I began to question my own perception and inhibitions, looking deeper into the issues of gender, resting every insight on personal experiences.
ReplyDeleteHaving learnt to validate each of our interactions within the class, it was now time to open ourselves to offer a channel of possibilities. This began with our shows, one of which I jokered in. Being a joker added the missing dimension to my personality, I realised and learnt how important it is listen to the audience. There was a lot that their gestures and expressions said while their voices were silent, respecting what we were there to offer. I learnt to listen to their participation and use that as a tool to connect. Similarly, there was a lot that my face and body language said and in the process I knew I had to shed the stringency I unknowingly offered, to be able to facilitate the bond.
The invisible theatre exercise was an eye opener. Like a bunch of over excited, judgmental urban kids we went to carry our act out in public, expecting them to intervene. However, the response was disappointing, zilch and I realised that intervention or change is not as simple as we assumed it to be; that there are reasons why people refuse to react; that there is a wall of strong perceptions that is difficult to break; that there’s no good or bad, wrong or right, black or white; that it is difficult to communicate this and that makes the difference.
At the end of the course, the habit of observing is what I have developed, worked around and used the most in order to understand and build myself as an individual. Observing what and how Evan and Arzu facilitated the entire course also has made me aware of some the most important tools to facilitation which have helped me while I facilitated one session in the class and shall help me further as I traverse this discipline.
I have seen myself grow
Help others grow,
I have pushed myself to know
Help others know,
I eye the different layers to me now
And respect the diversity within
Acknowledge my masks
Acknowledge perspectives
Juggle with possibilities
Invite serendipity.....
And so,
Gender Shadow matters!
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